tumblr is teeming with absolute scumbags who validate each other’s masturbatory bullshit and i hope yahoo turns it into an online bingo platform for senior citizens
(via an-egg)
“you can’t wear that!!!! people will get the wrong impression!!!”
the impression that i am a hot babe with an ass that just won’t quit???? honey that ain’t wrong that’s just fact
(via an-egg)
before you have sex with me you have to earn it
take these two potatoes and this goat and bring them to the river valley where you will meet an old gypsy named madam zeroni. carry madam zeroni back up the mountain on your back and allow her to drink from the stream while you sing for her. she will give you a necklace of beads. return them to me to complete the quest.
(via maxterbate)
my children
dad
(via hitlersbreastmilk)
remember when esteban was calling the dead but got put on hold
(via maxterbate)
when u accidentally hurt ur friends feelings and they insist that its fine but u know it isnt
(via hitlersbreastmilk)
SCREAMS!!!!!!!!!!
(Source: itsjeremiah, via maxterbate)
mini m&ms taste better than normal m&ms don’t even try to argue with me on this
(via maxterbate)
